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| www.emmanuelalba.com (Emmanuel Alba, Kelvin P., Nemo) |
Personally, I've known this
Aussie since 2009 during his stay in Cagayan de Oro City for about six
months. We lived at Corrales Ext. near Gaisano Mall in a big house with 4
rooms occupying just 2. That was really fantastic and unfogettable
days we had as friends. Nowadays, we keep in touch especially when he's
in here - the Philippines. I have so much to cherish about, to share for
and to be proud of. Australian English Language and Traditions are also
taught by him with a connection and comparison to some Filipino
traditions and culture. English Conversational Language with an Australian-New Zealand ways are taught especially in some sudden dialogue we have. I'ts just amazing by the way!
Now, he has a story shared to me during his FIRST Philippines' visit.
My Trip to the Philippines
By: Kelvin Perry
Everyone is asking me to write about my trip..So
here goes.
"G'day mate, where do I catch my
connecting flight to Davao?".
This to the guy behind the taxi counter after
exiting my plane from Singapore and coming through customs..
"Oh you must catch that one from Manila
Sir"..The smiling reply.
"Uh huh. That much I know..that is why I am
here!" Also with a smile.
"Oh no Sir" This is not Manila"..
"It isn't"..My smile slipping a
little..."So tell me, where the hell AM I"
"You are in Clark Sir".
"OK, I have a connecting flight to Davao in
2 hours."
"Oh no Sir! You do NOT"
With absolutely NO trace of a smile comes my
terse rejoinder..
"Why the hell NOT"?
"Because Manila is 110 kilometers from here
Sir"
To say I was gob smacked would have been an
understatement.
So much for buying budget airline tickets on the
internet. Instead of my destination being manila as it said on my
tickets...Tiger airline had dropped me at the Clark airbase. Obviously a
cheaper terminal for them to land at.
"Ok", I start to hammer my brain into
some form of operational mode. "Sell me a ticket on the NEXT plane to
Davao today".
"No planes fly to Davao from Clark Sir.
That would be Manila!"
With red face and tightly clenched teeth and a
TEAM of draft horses pulling at the reins of my temper I
mutter.."Yes..but I am not IN manila...I am in Clark.."
"Oh yes Sir", that beautific smile
again."You are in Clarke".
BIG BREATH KELVIN.
"SO tell me young fellah. How do I get to
Davao."
"Oh no Sir, planes don't.............................."
"Fly to Davao from here," I
interrupted him. "Yes I know. So how do I GET to Davao"?
"You fly to Cebu Sir, and from Cebu to
Davao".
"OK sell me a ticket to Cebu on the next
plane today please".
I am not thrilled to my boots about buying another
damned ticket to Davao and even less about re-routing through another damned
city but this tin shack on an old American Airbase was not exactly warming the
cockles of my bloody heart either.
"oh no Sir" If this wanker says OH NO
SIR one more time I might strain him through his moustache!!!!!!!!!!
"Oh, why is that"? I ask
politely and VERY quietly.
"Because there is no plane to Cebu until
tomorrow Sir". Again with the smile!
Everyone has left this tin pot shed but me at
this time and one other couple out front.
"Then where do I buy a ticket to
Cebu", I ask in my most patient voice."On tomorrow plane".
"In Angeles City Sir."
"And where is Angeles City".
"A taxi will take you there Sir"
"And where do I catch a taxi"?
"They have left now Sir"
I say not a word. Not one word. I pick up my
shoulder back..Grasp the handle of my suitcase and head out the door.
"One moment Sir, can I check your luggage
pass"?
I am about to say "You can go plum to hell
", when I look up to see a heavily armed security guard at the door
holding his hands out for my pass.
"Of course you can". For crying out
loud the dudes got a sidearm and a shotgun. He can do anything he damned well
likes. I rummage around in my bag and locate my boarding pass with the luggage
stub attached and he matches it with the other half on my luggage and smiles
and says "Thank you Sir, enjoy your stay in the Philippines."
With a sickly grin I pass through the doors.
This then, was the start of my 29 day holiday in
the Philippines. One I had planned for over 5 years.
"Got a problem mate?'
This in a real dinky di Aussie accent.
It was the male part of the remaining couple
outside the terminal. "tin shed"
Turns out they are heading for another Island
called Palawan and are also going to Cebu the next day for their connection.
They are waiting for a local hotel shuttle bus
which they booked when they purchased their tickets and invite me along.
"waiting" was something I would
certainly become accustomed to over the next month albeit never with patience.
It duly arrived and no economy rooms were
available at this "Clarketon" hotel and having checked into a double room
for a not so modest 1800 pesos I wondered how small these economy rooms really
were. But of course..I am IN one...clever wee bastards...
So it is 1PM and my plane for Cebu departs
at 3pm the following day..A few phone calls to the guy meeting me in Davao,
after purchasing my tickets from the travel agent in the hotel, and I am free
to discover the delights of this city.
Into shorts and sandals and out into the
tropical heat and a motorbike and side car swoops into where the curb should
be, misses my feet though I am not sure how. "G'day Joe! Where u
go"?
"how about you take me to a bar"..I
ask
"Sure joe. You want girl"?
"NO bloody way...take me to a boy-bar"
"Oh no Sir"..FUCK! here we go again
"Boy bars open at 11pm Sir"
'OK you choose a bar." I am hot..I am
thirsty..I haven't eaten since yesterday.
"Ok Joe..Take u to number 1 bar in Angeles
City."
A burst of exhaust..scream of overworked and
tired 125 cc engine..massive slipping of the clutch and we are OFF....at a
sedate 15 miles an hour..
lol..It is fun..I love this stuff..new
country..adventure of learning new customs...the ever presant awareness of
ensuring I don't screw up the local rules and regulations TOO much...
.Duly arrive at the bar..well..50 of them...all
with the bevy of scantily clad gals screaming various lewd invitations
beginning with "Hey Joe"...
I am in my element...well...almost.
